Due to my sour attitude inspired by the recent election results, I’ve been trying to distract myself into thinking of funnier/cuter/more interesting things than how difficult it will be to reunify the country after this election. It’s going to be a rough four years of Bushisms unless Congress gets its act together. (Not to mention the impending Supreme Court nomination fiasco.)

Let me relate two saving graces that have been successfully distracting me:

1) Crossfire and Bob Novak, the douchebag of liberty. Yesterday, good ol’ Bob was back and in action at the table. Let’s ignore the deep-seeded sadomasochism required to actually sit down and watch that show for a moment. Mr. “Douchebag” Novak suggested (in an action-packed 30 minutes) that he is disappointed that all of the states now allow women’s suffrage and outright stated that the best thing to happen in Bush’s campaign this year was the highly contested Swift Boat veteran scandal. He said he supported all the tactics of the Swift Boat veterans this year - VERBATIM. Awesome.

2) Email Spam. Today my distraction was much funnier and less anger-inspiring. I got new email spam that tops everything else i’ve ever received — for Christian or Jewish dating websites, for Viagra or Cialis tablets, for magick crystal balls that will tell me if I will be seeing Paris Hilton’s new p0rn. No — today I got a proposition for a new mortgage:

Subject: Yo, let a playa refinance your crib.

Sweeeeeeeet.